- Oral Hygenist
- Smoke so much weed you wouldn’t believe,
- Get more ass than a toilet seat,
- Met a bad bitch last night in the ‘D’,
- Made her leave with me via conversation and Hennessy
- Been to the motherfucking mountaintop
- Heard motherfuckers talk
- Seen them drop
- If I ain’t got a weapon I’ll pick up a rock,
- When I bust your ass I’ll continue to rock
- I like good pussy,
- I like good tree
Plan of action:
- Get buzzed,
- Get drunk,
- Get krunked,
- Get fucked up,
- Hit the strip club, remembering ones,
- Get dick rubbed,
- Get fucked,
- Get sucked,
- Get wasted, shit faced-ed, pasted, plastered,
- Puke drink off,
- Get a new drink,
- Hit the bathroom sink (blech),
- Wipe shoe clean,
- Get a routine
- Girl with a body and a sexy strut,
- Girl that will do whatever the fuck I say (every day she’ll be giving it up),
- A couple of bitches with some Double-Ds,
- Girl I can fuck in my Hummer truck,
- Apple Bottom jeans and a big ole’ butt,
- Bitch that’ll sit at the crib with no panties on (knows that she can but she won’t say ‘no’.)
- Looking for a slut.
Mistakes I’ve learned from:
- I told Nate you were a freak,
- I told him that you like it from behind.
At the end of the day
all I want
or all it seems I want
is that tequila.
As I see the last drop of
my one shot of
slip to the lips
all I want
is that last drop of
and the whole bottle
‘I hate the summer because it takes so long to get dark.
I’ve got dark things to do.’
the singer tonight,
he ‘melts womens’ panties.’
Impressive, but this mad skill like will not get you into my
Tequlia Club -
rule one of the first three rules one is
your panty melting skills mean nothing
the singer tonight,
he ‘melted my wife’s panties’
but then ate her gumbo…
the singer tonight made plasma
of my wife’s panties.
the singer tonight ate my wife’s gumbo and made plasma of her panties.
the singer tonight was like, ‘yeah, that’s what they say.’
If I could
“mmmfmffmmffmmff” would be my catch phrase,
but that’s just any straight guy talking.
I’m not impressed,
Does this ring a bell…
Didn’t think so,
I want to Normal with you.
I want to show you Normal,
Produce some Normal,
Normal some Normal,
Normal Normal your Normal,
Normal your Normal while you Normal Normal,
Normal over Normal Normal,
Give you Normal until Normal,
then Normal more,
I’d Normal you until Normal Normal,
but not if it means I’ve got to be Normal
you’ve got to be Normal
(in the Normal Normal)
because I think you’re as Normal as I Normal Normal
and I think
These are notes I made while drinking…
I forgot what
I was going to
Oh, yeah, sweet
spot of clarity.
Fucking sweetest spot.
These are notes I made while sober…
Barrel aged quad.
This is what I bought today…
I do the funniest things while sober.
Three things that could be stories of their own but I decided
yes, I decided
would stand on their own merit:
The first, the old man boss lady at work:
‘What is mean, “happy”?’
The second, at the bar I *frequent*:
a lap dance to the lyric “if you insist / on knowing my bliss / I can’t resist / I’ll tell you why and the reason is ”…
The third, the absurdist philosopher Camus, in the essay “An Absurd Reasoning,”
“This heart within me I can feel, and I judge that it exists. This world I can touch, and I likewise judge that it exists. There ends all my knowledge, and the rest is construction.”
You absurd bitch.