Resume (for a friend)


  • Menace,
  • Dentist,
  • Oral Hygenist


  • Smoke so much weed you wouldn’t believe,
  • Get more ass than a toilet seat,
  • Met a bad bitch last night in the ‘D’,
  • Made her leave with me via conversation and Hennessy
  • Been to the motherfucking mountaintop
  • Heard motherfuckers talk
  • Seen them drop


  • If I ain’t got a weapon I’ll pick up a rock,
  • When I bust your ass I’ll continue to rock


  • I like good pussy,
  • I like good tree

Plan of action:

  • Get buzzed,
  • Get drunk,
  • Get krunked,
  • Get fucked up,
  • Hit the strip club, remembering ones,
  • Get dick rubbed,
  • Get fucked,
  • Get sucked,
  • Get wasted, shit faced-ed, pasted, plastered,
  • Puke drink off,
  • Get a new drink,
  • Hit the bathroom sink (blech),
  • Wipe shoe clean,
  • Get a routine

Looking for:

  • Girl with a body and a sexy strut,
  • Girl that will do whatever the fuck I say (every day she’ll be giving it up),
  • A couple of bitches with some Double-Ds,
  • Girl I can fuck in my Hummer truck,
  • Apple Bottom jeans and a big ole’ butt,
  • Bitch that’ll sit at the crib with no panties on (knows that she can but she won’t say ‘no’.)
  • Looking for a slut.

Mistakes I’ve learned from:

  • I told Nate you were a freak,
  • I told him that you like it from behind.

TTFN, tequila

At the end of the day

all I want

or all it seems I want

is that tequila.

As I see the last drop of

my one shot of


slip to the lips

all I want

is that last drop of


and the whole bottle

to last


Panty melter

the singer tonight,

he ‘melts womens’ panties.’

Impressive, but this mad skill like will not get you into my

Tequlia Club -

rule one of the first three rules one is

No Skirts.

your panty melting skills mean nothing


the singer tonight,

he ‘melted my wife’s panties’

but then ate her gumbo…


the singer tonight made plasma

of my wife’s panties.

the singer tonight ate my wife’s gumbo and made plasma of her panties.

Big whoop.

the singer tonight was like, ‘yeah, that’s what they say.’

If I could

melt panties

“mmmfmffmmffmmff” would be my catch phrase,

but that’s just any straight guy talking.

I’m not impressed,

singer tonight.

Does this ring a bell…


Didn’t think so,

singer tonight.

Normal (prose)

I want to Normal with you.

I want to show you Normal,

Produce some Normal,

Normal some Normal,

Normal Normal your Normal,

Normal your Normal while you Normal Normal,

Normal over Normal Normal,

Give you Normal until Normal,

then Normal more,

and Normal


I’d Normal you until Normal Normal,

but not if it means I’ve got to be Normal


you’ve got to be Normal

(in the Normal Normal)

because I think you’re as Normal as I Normal Normal

and I think